While attending the Spiritual Recovery Program at Star of Hope, I was able to find a Friend. This Friend was able to relieve a lifetime of hurt. This Friend also helped me to see life though a different pair of lenses. All my life I searched for something to mask life hurts, disappointments, guilt and setbacks or someone to tell my deepest emotions, desires or aspirations without feeling vulnerable to criticism.
I learned from Star of Hope that the hurt, disappoints and guilt was a result of believing a lie all my life. If I did not believe the truth, then anything else was a lie. I believed a lie for such a long time that the lie became the truth. If I could just find something to take the hurt and guilt away, I would be fine. No matter what I took or sought, I would only come to realize that the pain or guilt was still there. The pain and anguish was deep. I realized that I had childhood scars that had never been healed but rather painted over with other pains and hurts. The pain was like a dresser with many layers of pain. Star of Hope provided the love, time, resources and commitment to allow me to find a Friend... Jesus.
Now that I have found Jesus, I realize that l need Jesus to steer my life. I no longer depend on what I think or feel. I now believe in His Word. I still have setbacks and disappoints, but I now know that I will be fine. I now know that whatever I go though in life that Jesus will be with me until the ends of the earth. I now realized that Jesus is navigating every circumstance of my life. Jesus asks that I believe in Him, not in what I feel, think or believe. I must have faith in Him, not my knowledge or wisdom, as if I ever had any.
I now can tell Jesus all my desires, hurts and disappointments without feeling ashamed. We have a tendency to wear masks to show our best. We do not want people to see the real person because the real person is corrupted, bruised and flawed. I now know that Jesus provides mercy, forgiveness and comfort. I am able to pull off my mask and reveal the real me with all my problems and issues.
I am thankful for Star of Hope for helping to find a Friend